As a gay man, I know how difficult LGBTQ dating can be. You’re either inundated with cocks on Grindr, but not butch enough for Scruff, or forced to join one of the dreaded apps that all the straights use.
I’m looking at you, Tinder.
While some gay dating websites are very much about sex, sex, and nothing but the sex… there are some alternative options for gay men, women, and queer people looking for love. All is not lost!
So here I present to you the 14 best gay dating sites for men, women, and non-binary folk. Hopefully, you’ll find the dates and/or hookups your queer little heart desires!
Best Gay Dating Sites
- Best free site – Adam4Adam
- Best matchmaking system – eHarmony
- Match.com for young people – Zoosk
- Best for Lesbians – HER
- Sex, sex, sex – Grindr
- Good for older gay men – GayFriendFinder
- Designed to create gay power couples – EliteSingles
- Gay cubs, bears & otters – Scruff
- Match based on political stances – OKCupid
- Popular gay hookup app internationally – Hornet
- Swipe right – Tinder
- Designed to be deleted – Hinge
- Queer & non-binary focused – Lex
- For gay mystic megs – NuiT
1. Adam4Adam – Best For 100% Free Gay Dating
- Going since 2003
- Online dating site & app version
- Gay-specific platform
- Fakes & bots are common
Why is Adam4Adam great for gay singles?
Adam4Adam is the best dating apps for gay guys quite simply because it’s designed with that in mind. You know, hence the name. While the grid-based layout is very Grindr-esque, this cool app tends to be a little more romantic, and you can use the core features for free!
This cool “gay Tinder” also comes with offers for their online sex shop and has live cams too. So if you do feel a little horny one day, you can dive into as many camboys and bottles of poppers as you want. Just bear in mind that the user base is limited compared to apps like Grindr and Tinder.
2. eHarmony – Best Matchmaking System
- 80-question compatibility quiz
- Matches based on values, interests, habits
- Great for long-term relationships
- People lie on their profiles quite a bit
Why is eHarmony great for gay singles?
If you’ve read oureharmony review, you’ll know that eharmony has the potential to be one of the best gay dating sites for serious relationships. Originally designed by Christians for the straights, this dating site overcame its homophobic beginnings to become a monolith of gay dating culture.
Often compared to Match.com in the LGBTQ scene as the “serious dating site for gays”, eharmony matches you based on your hopes, dreams, and desires… not your nude private album. While it’s one of the best gay dating sites for finding love, it comes at a price, so be prepared to write a check or two.
3. Zoosk – Best For Younger Gay Men
- Unique game-like app style
- Skews younger
- Tends to be long-term relationships
- Weirdly gamified
Why is Zoosk great for gay singles?
Zoosk is quite possibly the best gay app for relationships if you’re on the younger side and looking for love. Designed with a unique, game-esque cartoony UI, this app is an interesting way to peruse the local LGBTQ+ scene to find mister, missus, or mx right!
Profiles on Zoosk can be verified by sending in videos to the customer service team, so you can eliminate the possibility of scammers and bots, which is nice. However, the platform makes frequent use of microtransactions designed to slowly bleed your coin purse dry.
4. HER – Best Lesbian Dating App
- Basically Grindr for lesbians
- No unwanted men hitting you up
- Niche groups & community events
- Issues with biphobia
Why is HER great for lesbian singles?
When it comes todating sites for relationships, HER is the place to be for queer women. Though I’m not a lesbian personally, I know that they can be frequently bothered by men on regular online dating sites despite their obvious disapproval.
HER gives the lesbian community its own exclusive app!
Designed just for women, HER has great features and ice-breakers for new members, including niche groups such as “newly out” acting as a support network for new members of the community. There are limited profiles and problems with biphobia though, so watch out for that.
5. Grindr – Best Gay Hookup App
- It’s Grindr – you know what it is
- Started in 2009
- Gay hookups & hot sex ASAP
- Issues with racism, transphobia, internalized homophobia
Why is Grindr great for gay singles?
If you’re a gay person reading this and you’ve never heard of Grindr, allow me to welcome you out of the cave you’ve been living in for a decade. The number one gay dating app in the US and most of the world, Grindr is used in over 200 countries worldwide to find gay sex right now.
It’s undoubtedly one of the best gay apps for hooking up!
The grid-style layout is location-based, so you see hot guys in your area based on which ones are closest to you, making quick sex easy to organize. In recent years, they’ve also added sections for trans people and non-binary folk, but watch out for discrimination on here… especially if you’re non-white or femme.
6. GayFriendFinder – Best Gay Hookup Site For Seniors
- Skews toward older gay men
- Blog and forums
- Find singles, couples, and groups
- Not the biggest user base
Why is GayFriendFinder great for gay singles?
When it comes to gay dating sites for seniors, Gay Friend Finder is probably the best place to start. Tailored toward older men, this website is a little bit… ermmm… old-fashioned? The stock photos are definitely from the late ’90s judging from the clothes and hair.
Still, while this free gay dating website may be a little past its prime, it’s perfect for older gay men who can’t be bothered getting into the fast-paced world of digital hookup apps. If you wanna take it slow and date someone with life experience, give it a try.
7. EliteSingles – Best Dating App For Gay Professionals
- Dating site for gay professionals
- In-depth questionnaire
- Verified accounts reduce catfishing
- People can be a bit up themselves
Why is EliteSingles great for gay singles?
EliteSingles is one of the top gay dating sites for serious relationships between professionals. What constitutes a “professional” is open to interpretation, but in the gay world, it’s probably a bunch of interior designers or hairdressers.
The matchmaking features pairs you up with 3-7 matches at a time, most of whom are in well-paid jobs and looking for long-term relationships. While this website could ultimately create gay power couples, anyone describing themselves as “Elite” could be very extra.
8. Scruff – Best Gay Hookup App For Hunks
- 12 million users
- Send & receive NSFW private albums
- Full of bears, cubs, otters, hunks
- Geared toward certain body types
Why is Scruff great for gay hunks?
Designed with so-called “scruffier” men and bears in mind, Scruff is one of the top-rated gay dating apps and one of the most popular gay hookup sites after the likes of Grindr. Working in Grindr-style with a geolocation-based grid view, you can see the hottest guys near you within a couple of taps.
Just bear in mind (see what I did there?) that the pool of guys is a bit smaller.
Scruff allows you to send private nude albums (or face pics if you’re not out) and you can also “woof” at people you think are attractive – it’s simultaneously kinky and degrading. You can even publish a travel agenda with your destination city, organizing hookups upon arrival. Damn.
9. OkCupid – Best Dating Website For The LGBTQ Community
- Women, men, queer, genderfluid, non-binary et al!
- Colorful & quirky UI
- Matches based on values & political stances
- Million-question-long personality questionnaire
Why is OkCupid great for the LGBTQ community?
Dating websites designed mainly for the straights rarely end up being good for the gays. However, OkCupid has developed a strong cult following of LGBTQ+ people over the past 10 years or so, making it the best way to meet gay guys, lesbian women, queer & non-binary people.
There are literally about 400 pronouns & sexualities to choose from.
You have to answer a lot of questions when you sign up, but they’re designed to match you with someone who shares your political beliefs and ideals. If you’re a leftie liberal, you’re unlikely to be matched with the rare breed of MAGA gay, for example. The catch? OKC is only good in urban areas.
10. Hornet – Best Gay Dating App Internationally
- Very popular around the world
- 18 million users
- Top free gay dating app for android
- A lot of users won’t be out
Why is Hornet great for international gay men?
If you’re living in a more progressive nation, you might not have heard of Hornet. You see, this gay dating app is designed to be used in countries like Turkey, Russia, and Brazil… places where being openly gay isn’t exactly the tea, sis.
However, Hornet is still available in countries like the US and UK, and it’s also recently partnered with Blue’d, the HUGE gay dating app based in China. People will be discreet on this app for sure, but it could be a nice place to meet foreign travelers and broaden your international horizons.
11. Tinder – Best For Local Online Dating
- It’s not just for basic straight people, apparently
- Creator of the “Swipe Right” phenomenon
- Only speak to people who like you too
- Pretty superficial
Why is Tinder great for gay dating?
When it comes tohookup apps for the straights, none are more prevalent than Tinder. However, when apps like Scruff and Grinder already exist for hookups in the gay world, Tinder often becomes an interesting app where LGBTQ+ people go to look for love and more serious dating.
While Tinder is shallow (you judge based on looks primarily) you will only be able to speak to people who have also indicated an interest in you, so there’s less awkwardness when one of you isn’t into the other. However, Tinder is known for microtransactions and dodgy algorithms, so keep an eye out for that.
12. Hinge – Most Romantic Gay Dating Site
- “Designed to be deleted”, apparently
- Popular with millennials
- Good matchmaking algorithm
- Limited gay user base
Why is Hinge great for the LGBT community?
Dating sites for LGBT folks can be a little hit and miss, but Hinge is a relatively new dating service that’s gaining traction with younger members of the LGBT community.
Just be aware that the user base is small right now.
Diverse and full of detailed profiles, Hinge is “designed to be deleted” because it’s designed for long-term gay dating and relationships, regardless of your gender or preference.
13. Lex – Popular Dating App For Queer & Non-Binary People
- Designed for queer & non-binary people
- Many identities, including genderfluid & two-spirit
- Craigslist-esque personals style
- Very dated UI
Why is Lex great for queer & non-binary people?
Most queer dating apps are understandably picture-focused, but Lex isn’t. This dating website for non-conforming people is a throwback to the early days of the internet, boasting an early 2000s Craigslist-style design.
Browse the personals of like-minded people in your local area, and be warned that hate speech or creepiness has a zero-tolerance policy! If you can get past the horribly dated Windows 98-esque design, then this could be for you.
14. NuiT – Popular Gay Dating Site For Astrology Fans
- See other people’s birth charts
- Astrology focused
- Multiple pronoun & sexuality options
- Pointless if you don’t believe in this stuff
Why is NuiT great for LGBTQ astrology believers?
If you’re into astrology, zodiacs, and birth charts, then NuiT lets you find gay friends in your area (or lovers…) who share your interest in astrology and zodiac signs.
As someone who’s not into the whole “what’s your sign?” thing, this app clearly isn’t for me. However, if you want a gay-friendly discussion about Mercury being in retrograde, there’s no better place to be.
Best LGBTQ+ Dating Sites Frequently Asked Questions
Why Should I Use a Dating Site Geared Towards the LGBTQ Community?
You should strongly consider using gay dating websites geared toward the LGBTQ community for many reasons:
- You won’t run into those pesky straights
- It’s a safe space for expressing yourself without judgment
- Gay dating apps cater to gay needs
- It’s especially safer for trans people
- Hookups are easier to organize
- There are more LGBTQ+ people on gay dating apps (duh)
While there are pros and cons to using generic dating sites and LGBTQ-specific dating websites, you’re usually better off sticking to the gay-friendly ones. Gay dating sites are queer spaces for queer people – the digital equivalent of gay bars.
Are Gay Dating Sites Different From Typical Sites?
Gay dating sites tend to have more features that are tailored toward our specific needs. For example, HER is an app designed purely for lesbian women, so there are no straight men on there harassing lesbians to “give penis a try” and whatnot.
Similarly, apps like Grindr have sections for trans and non-binary people, helping them to stay safe from scrutiny. Gay men can also filter guys according to their “type”, whether you’re into twinks, jocks, daddies, otters, or anything else.
You don’t get that on Match.com!
Are Gay Datings Sites Safe?
As is the case for any dating website, you should always take precautions. This is especially true if you’re living in a homophobic region or you’re traveling to a stranger’s home.
Be suspicious of everyone!
Always use common sense, meet in public places, and sniff out catfishes where possible. Gay dating sites are mostly safe, but bad things still happen.
Tips To Be Successful On Gay Dating Sites
While everyone is different, there are some general tips I can share to help you be successful on gay dating sites!
- Know your audience – If you’re looking for long-term romance, you probably won’t get it on Grindr. Similarly, if you’re after sexy hookups, eHarmony is not the place to be gurl.
- Use multiple photos – Should the gay dating app you’re using allow it, use multiple photos to give a varied view of yourself. From candid group shots to vanity selfies, try to mix it up.
- Consider labeling yourself – While we don’t all like to label ourselves, identifying yourself as twink, jock, daddy, otter, etc. might help you to match with people who are into your type.
- Don’t be hateful or a dickhead – The amount of Grindr profiles with “no fats, no femmes, no Asians” is abhorrent. Talk about body-shaming, racism & internalized homophobia, jeez.
- State your HIV status – If you’re HIV positive, be honest about it. Grindr even has a “Poz” section just for you.
- Top or Bottom? – Tell us your preferred bedroom position if you want to make the hookups process a lot easier!
Hopefully, these tips will help you on your journey to find the perfect gay dating site for you!
Which Is The Best Gay Dating Site?
I hope you enjoyed this guide to the best gay dating sites!
While HER and Grindr are well-known apps in the community, you might want to try eHarmony as a gay dating site due to its clever algorithm, 80-question personality quiz, and abundance of serious gay lovers.
Whichever gay dating site you choose, I wish you luck on your gay dating journey!
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